Random Post of Randomness

I didn't sleep much last night. I went to bed too late, couldn't sleep, then woke up too early. I should've gone to bed hours ago because I know I'll wake up at the same time tomorrow and it will be too early. But I am stupid and wanted to stay up to watch Corazon Salvaje.

So I'm all jittery and jumpy because I just downed an entire can of Coke even though I KNOW that I get all fucked up if I drink caffeine at night (like a Gremlin, yes?) but I wanted to stay awake to watch the damn show because I am obsessed with how ridiculous it is. I still need to write a full recap here and get you all to watch it too even if you can't understand it because it is so good to just watch and not listen.

And I have to get this out of my chest and write SOMETHING or I will go insane with this sugar rush.


See, I'm annoyed that the show has been stuck in this damned rut for about two weeks now. On the one hand, we have this totally awesome plot of Juan finally falling in love with Regina The Good and Noble Who Opens Up His Heart To Love and Goodness. And it's really genuinely sweet and cute and the cheesy romantic in me is eating it up.

On the other hand, we have the four other main characters doing this EVERY single episode (caps are meant to signify screaming because they just shout all the damn time:



Renato (Lame Husband): I WILL FIND JUAN AND KILL HIM AND RESCUE REGINA


Aime (the Whore Sister and Renato's Wife): OMG RENATO LOVE ME AGAIN BECAUSE JUAN REJECTED ME FOR MY SISTER

Renato: NO YOU HAG

Aime: OMG LEONARDA STOP HIM!


Leonarda (Renato's Evil Mom): OMG RENATO STOP PURSUING JUAN YOU WILL BE KILLED

Renato: NO YOU HAG! RAH!

Leonarda: OMG NOEL TELL RENATO TO STOP!


Noel (Renato's Goodly Poofyhaired Dad): NO RENATO YOU MUST FORGIVE HIM

Renato: RAH ! NO YOU HAG! VENGEANCE!

Leonarda: YOU ARE USELESS, NOEL. RODRIGO, TELL HIM TO STOP!


Rodrigo (Aimee and Regina's Evil Dad, Evil Mom is in love with him for some reason, and he squints a lot): ATTA BOY GO AFTER THAT BASTARD WHOM I HATE!

Renato: NO YOU HAG! I MEAN YES! YES YOU HAG!

Me: OMG RENATO GET A JOB OR A HOBBY OR SOMETHING MY GOD.

And they seriously just run around the same three rooms for DAYS ON END having this same exact discussion EVERY SINGLE EPISODE. The timeline really confuses me, too, because it seems like WEEKS have gone by in the Juan/Regina storyline. But then we have Aimee wearing the same whorish dress and matching neck-flower for like four episodes! Sometimes Renato goes to the police to try to do something. It's very confusing and very stupid. There's a lot of screaming and yelling and wailing and it's really repetitive.

And really, the revenge is just totally stupid because what's he planning, exactly? He's already married to The Whore, right. And Juan and Regina are already married, and falling in love, of course. So I don't get what he wants to do, exactly. He's just a turd who needs a hobby.

That's all I have to say about that. Hmmph.

You guys, get this show. It's ridiculous beyond belief.

Oooh just wait til I tell you the convoluted storylines and tell you about the characters! you will love me.