There is nothing about this that doesn't reek.

One of the most ridiculous things about this whole mess are the outrageous and wholly meaningless declarations that both sides are making. Empty words, that's all these people know how to say.

On the one hand we have Zelaya, still holed up in the Embassy, talking about how he's trapped and helpless. That he is willing to hold a dialogue. With whom? What, you think he would say? HA. And did he forget that he put himself in this situation? No one forced him inside the Embassy--HE WENT THERE HIMSELF. He is the one that compromised the Brazilian government and forced them into a situation that they had barely touched in the past.

It's not surprising, really. Zelaya's stance through all this is to play the helpless victim, who has done nothing to deserve such treatment. It's the other side that's completely irrational and not budging in their stance. It's always the other side. It's never his own fault. And yet he's sitting happy, yelling meaningless populist slogans, not offering a single reasonable solution other than "WAH WAH LET ME BE PRESIDENT AGAIN". Not only that, but he's also still insisting on harsher measures against Honduras on the part of the international community. He's asking for the elections to be ignored by the larger world. WHAT DOES THIS ACCOMPLISH? Almost all the monetary help from the international community here goes to the poorest sections of the population--the very people Zelaya claims to be fighting for. I think this is the most infuriating part of Zelaya's stance. Money for the roads? Gives work to poor laborers. Money for education? Gives poor children schools. Money for food? It's not Micheletti and the "elite" who is suffering from want of food, Mr. Zelaya. And the fact that his supporters seem to be completely blinded to this (what with his constant cries of RAH RAH MICHELETTI HURTS THE PEOPLE! DOWN WITH THE RICHIES!).

And really, there is NO reason for Zelaya to change the tune of his song. It's working. His supporters are still as many, they're still as angry as they ever were. They fight the police, they look bad, they claim to be victims. But Zelaya himself isn't hurting. He can afford to keep riling them on and not offer any sort of solution to this problem. Why change what has been working for him for as long as he's been President?

To get back to my larger point.

On the other hand, we have the current government. What have they been doing since Zelaya returns? They've been in meetings. They issue their empty declarations in national broadcasts that don't announce a goddamn concrete thing.

Such and such a group supports the current government! blah blah blah!
Such and such a group believes in democracy! blah blah blah!
We are open for dialogue but will not say a single thing about plans or actual ideas of what's going to be discussed! or by whom! blah blah blah!
Curfew for no reason at all ! security! blah blah blah!

It's insanity. Nothing but empty air and the very same strategy that Zelaya is using. Rile up their supporters by painting Zelaya's supporters as nothing but savages with no ideologies (and like it or not, there are PLENTY of people supporting Zelaya who have very clear views on what they stand for). Keep throwing dirt on everything they do. Keep blaming other countries for letting Zelaya come in, instead of actually doing something about it. You know why people panicked and emptied the supermarkets and gas stations yesterday? Because no one had ANY IDEA of what was going to happen today, or tomorrow. Would another curfew be issued? NO ONE KNEW. And when people don't know, and they hear rumors and crazy stories going around, and their actual government isn't saying anything about what might happen in the future, they PANIC. And yesterday was a perfect example of this. It was complete chaos.

They make declarations on how the rest of the world should let Hondurans work out their differences, which is just the biggest joke of all because the ONLY people offering ANY solutions or plans are...OTHER COUNTRIES. They're asking for dialogue and who's going to conduct it? The OAS, of course. Because God forbid the government makes any kind of decision to back down and antagonize either group. And again, it´s not Micheletti who is suffering the consequences of international pressure. What the hell does he care? He's a millionaire businessman and so are all his close allies. They can keep pretending like Honduras can survive without assistance until the end of time. It's not them who will be starving.

So what happens?

The "resistance" has a march. For what, exactly? They ask for Zelaya's return. What do they think will happen if he is let back? What then? Everything's forgiven? The country will be rich and prosperous--as it's never been before? They disobey the curfew knowing full well that the police will scatter them. They carry sticks and stones, molotov cocktails. Set fire to cars and buses and expect the police to do nothing about it? Like it or not there are some in their midst who ARE violent. The police is needlessly violent as well. It's a stupid, meaningless, useless circle that does nothing but widen the margin between Zelaya's supporters and Micheletti's--between social classes, really. And it does nothing, nothing at all.

The government supporters have a march. They are (amusingly enough) GUARDED by the police so that the "resistance won't affect them". And let's face it--a large chunk of the people in this particular march are upper middle class and upper classes. The "leaders" are people who throw away millions in weddings and 15 birthday parties. We've all seen them before, and to see them pretending to be part of the people is just insulting. That's why I don't go to the marches, even though most of my friends are there. It's the same as Zelaya claiming he's one of the people. So they make empty declarations. They cry out against Chavez. They want Zelaya to give himself up to the authorities--WHAT AUTHORITIES? Do they really think this is in any way feasible or reasonable and not completely fucking stupid?

It's just so completely empty. Meaningless. Both sides blame each other, they get more entrenched in their stances and don't budge an inch. They propose no actual solutions. The pro-Zelaya channel insults and lies. The pro-Micheletti channels insults and lies. Each of their marches is righteous and good. The other side is evil and eats children.

And I sit here, in complete disgust at the lies people buy wholeheartedly. While the people in power sit happy and unaffected, happy to let the days go by while the actual people go to pieces and beat each other over nothing. They can spout their meaningless messages, offering no solutions, offering no plans.

How's this going to end? Will it? I don't see any side actually backing down and being reasonable. But again, they don't have to be. They're happy going along with what has worked for them in the past.

It's so sad, and so infuriating. I can't even watch the news anymore, because no one is unbiased. There's no one to trust in the media, and it's nauseating to watch them spout their lies as mouth pieces for either side.

Ugh. This is likely to get worse before it gets any better.

**UPDATE**

An example!

Micheletti is interviewed by CNN.

CNN Interviewer: What are the chances of there being a direct dialogue between you and Mr. Zelaya?
Micheletti: WE WILL HAVE ELECTIONS BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IN DEMOCRACY.

*end scene*

Happy Birthday to ME!

Ha. Haha.

So the curfew has been changed, so that we're allowed to go outside today from 10am to 5pm. The resistance movement quickly grouped together at one of the universities for a quick march, and the rest of the city...well...

I guess the rest of the city decided to go as quickly as possible to the nearest supermarket or gas station.

My uncle tried to go to the supermarket nearby, but almost immediately turned back when he saw that there was a LINE outside it to get it, and that people were trying to get into the gas station well, any way they could.

This isn't really...news or all that scary. It's usual for whenever Hondurans feel a little bit of panic. Before storms that never come, before protests...hell, sometimes even before a football match in case people get too angry the next day. Still, I'm just hoping people keep their heads and nothing crazy happens, as it easily could.

Mom and I are just gonna sit at home, and we've ordered a few extra groceries from the little market down the street. I don't really know what else is going on outside--probably not much outside of people who've been stuck at home for a whole day going outside and SPENDING because god forbid we go one day without getting stuck in a traffic jam. Oh, Tegucigalpa. You batshit crazy city.
Anyway, I'll celebrate my birthday by making a giant cake and eating pizza with the family, watching Spirited Away for the awesome, and maybe drinking.

**EDIT**

A very brave friend went out today and took these photos:


I think you can get the idea of just how unbelievably CROWDED this supermarket is. Just the thought of going in there right now freaks me out.Eeeesh.


Cars almost literally piling into a gas station.

These are from the local paper El Heraldo:


Madness, I tell you. But understandable, considering that no one knows when this craziness will end, since no one in the government is saying a damned thing.


I don't quite get the madness for gas, though. I guess it's more of a knee-jerk reaction. That and Hondurans just LOVE to waste gas.

ARGH. ARGH.

So these people have extended the curfew to ANOTHER 24 hours. Jesus Christ. Supposed to end at 6pm tomorrow.

There's people who haven't had electricity all day. People who have no food, or water.

WHAT THE HELL?!

I am so beyond angry right now. If I don't hit something soon I'll just pass out from rage.

So again:

FUCK.

*EDIT*

Now that I'm less angry:

This is just moved into really scary territory, folks. I mean, really, I can understand why they've issued the curfew, or at least I can understand their reasoning. But they also seem to be forgetting the kind of people they are dealing with here. They know that Zelaya's supporters come from the most populated (and poorer) sections of the city. Meaning they don't have to go very far to talk to each other. They know that they are volatile, quickly moved to anger and violence. They know that they are very well organized. And yet...their solution is to keep everyone holed up at home for 48 hours? Their solution is to let anger, violence, revenge, boil up in people for days while they in the government shuffle their feet and issue meaningless declarations and nothing moves forward? They're making people panic about food, about water, about what's going to happen. And not one of them is coming forward and giving an actual, concrete plan on what is going to happen. Just empty declarations and vague promises. How long are they going to keep this up? How long before people just blow up?

And if today is any indication, nothing is going to happen tomorrow. Tempers will get hotter as leaders go into their secret hour long meetings where nothing is decided except to keep doing nothing, and the curfew will be extended for God knows how long.

This is a nightmare, and I'm just wondering if there is ANY way that this will not end in some disaster. The ONLY positive thing I can think of is that finally, after months and months of uncertainty, SOMETHING might finally happen to end all the bullshit. So all I can do is just hope that this final resolution will be peaceful. That these people will move from their stances at least a little bit.

SOMETHING has to happen, is my point. And all we can do is sit here and hope that that something won't be disastrous.

I just wanted some cake for my birthday, dammit. That's all I wanted.

**EDIT**
I just heard the Brazilian secretary of state (I think) talking on CNN about what happened. I liked the solution that he gave:

Micheletti needs to open up the airports again, call for a real negotiating committee, let Zelaya sit quiet in the Embassy while they work things out, and just end this peacefully already. Call off the curfew, tell people that things WILL Be worked out peacefully, have Zelaya tell his followers to go to work and wait while they fix this.

*laughs*

Yeah, that's gonna happen.

Grounded in our rooms.

What a royal mess.

I don't really have a lot of news--no one is reporting a damned thing. I suppose that with everyone grounded in their houses until 6pm not even the reporters can get out. Though of course one wonders whether they would report anything even if they could.

The city is just completely, eerily quiet and empty. What we hear is that at dawn a group of some 300 people who had been camping in front of the Brazilian embassy were removed by force and there were quite a few wounded.

This curfew is insane, and I'm sure that many people are going to be swayed firmly into Zelaya's side because of it. And if the government's stance (of...ignoring Zelaya completely, or so it seems to me) stays the same, and the curfew is extended (good lord don't let that happen) I think Micheletti's support will dwindle and turn into outright hatred.

Nothing is happening. Just nothing. As usual we're just sitting around, helpless, while these idiots do absolutely nothing but punish the population because they won't budge from their stupid, stubborn positions.

"Infuriating" doesn't even begin to cover it.

I think I'm just gonna ignore the news, watch some lemurs on Animal Planet (as long as I can, I wouldn't be surprised if the power or cable were shut off) and keep grumbling that these bastards better not fuck up my birthday tomorrow.

I AM SO COMPLETELY SICK OF THIS SHIT.

So Manuel Zelaya snuck back into Honduras in the middle of the night.

He's holed up in the Brazilian Embassy.

He says he'll turn himself in to the authorities for a judgment. He hasn't yet.

Micheletti has issued a 7am-6pm curfew for the whole country tomorrow.

They don't give a damn, they're not the ones who have to miss work or school or LIFE tomorrow.

So what you'll have is a tense and possibly panicking population holed up in their homes and no one reporting on anything.

There is NO WAY this will end well.

And I am so deathly tired of this shit. Just completely fucking exhausted with these people. Damn them all to hell.

Cannonball Read: Harry Potter series

52.Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

It's cute and imaginative. Funny, sweet and a breeze to read. Definitely the sort of thing that any kid would love. The characters are fun and varied, and though most fit into perfect black or white categories, there's enough darkness lurking in the book to make it smart and enjoyable for adults. Specially if you like fun little fish-out-of-water stories.

56. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

This is my least favorite of the series. Partly because here is where Rowling starts with the pattern that becomes painfully repetitive pretty quickly. Harry is suspicious of something. Harry starts seeing or hearing things. No one believes him. So instead of telling someone who knows how things are (or who can do something about it), Harry decides to take matters into his (sometimes very stupid) hands and try to fix things by himself. So he does, he's extremely lucky and overcomes whatever evil shows up and then Dumbledore wraps things up nicely at the end. It works for this book, sort of, but the plot is really very silly and there is a lot of useless filler. It's still fun and light, but somewhat forgettable.

57. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Definitely my favorite of the series, plot-wise. Rowling takes what seems like a straightforward idea (escaped prisoner tries to kill Harry) and adds a nice amount of twists and turns so that at every turn there's a new surprise or unexpected turn of events. It's a lot of fun, with the revelations being pretty shocking and adding a great deal of depth to the series. And it breaks away from the formula quite nicely, even though the ending is rather infuriating. A great read.

64. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

The best thing about this book is that it opens up Rowling's wizarding world to completely new depths. We get the Quidditch World Cup, the wizarding schools, the Yule Ball, the final, heartbreaking scenes. It's definitely a more mature entry, with the dangers to Harry becoming far more real, with death being a very real possibility to him. It's a very long book, but it never got boring. It's (as cliche as this sounds) action-packed from start to finish, and the final few chapters are truly exceptional in how tense and truly scary they are. I love to read these books in order and see how the books mature along with their audience, and Rowling starts to tweak her writing and tone to get far away from the sillyness and immaturity of the first books, while still keeping that young-adult vibe in her books.

67. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

A bit of a let-down, honestly. It's definitely the most frustrating book of all, with the the-world-against-Harry formula pulled out to an excruciating degree. Quite frankly, after Harry runs into his fourth or fifth obstacle, I just started getting angry at JK Rowling. Let the kid catch a break, for heaven's sake. It's a very uneven book, and unfortunately slow, specially when compared to the previous two offerings. And worse, it takes what should be a more mature group of main characters and just makes them completely and infuriatingly stupid. I know Harry is supposed to be at that super-stubborn-teenager phase, but Rowling really does push it here. It's just not a fun book, being too frustrating and annoying with every stupid decision a character makes. Even the ending doesn't hit too hard, because it comes about from a million stupid decisions and failure in communication between the characters. Definitely an unwelcome bump in the series.

**

And here's where I ended this re-read. My sister took my books with her to college, the idiot. I guess I'll continue the reviews eventually.

Never forget.

I was getting out of an 8am class. I had been in Oneonta, NY (4 hours from NYC) for only two weeks. I had never lived on my own, and was just barely getting used to being thousands of miles away from home.

I remember coming out of class, and I quite clearly remember a girl passing by me talking to her friend. I heard her say something like "someone just bombed the World Trade Center!" but I dismissed it as rumor, or it just didn't connect to my brain in the least.

I walked to my room, my mind on something else entirely. I'm sure people were running around me in a panic, but I honestly don't remember seeing any of it.

I went into my room, where my roommate Stacey was watching some music show on TV. I said hi and sat down at my desk and opened my computer. About ten seconds later someone starts banging on the door calling for Stacey. I open the door and Stacey's friends comes barging in, babbling about turning on the news, grabbing the remote off of Stacey's bed and turning on CNN.

A tower burning.

"A plane crashed into the World Trade Center"

"Holy shit!"

And we watched in silence, wondering what the hell was going on. An accident? What had happened?

And then, as we watched the anchor standing with the WTC in the background, a tiny black speck ran into the other tower. An explosion.

"What the hell was THAT?"

Stacey in a panicked voice. We froze, as the anchor turned behind her.

"Oh, God. Oh, God."

I remember sinking into my bed as the anchor struggled to hold her panicked face together, as she announced that another plane had crashed. As people started figuring out that it wasn't an accident.

I froze. I put my hand to my mouth and watched, wide-eyed. Not understanding. Terrified.

And then I ran for my phone, and scrambled around my desk, trying to find my calling card, as Stacey and her friend sobbed on their beds, as we all wondered who around us knew people in New York City. Just about everyone.

I couldn't get a line. I was shaking. I remember that. Shaking. Feeling cold and unbelieving. The phone rang, my mom was in a complete panic. In the fear of the moment "New York" included me. I told her we were waiting, to see what would happen.

Classes were canceled. The rest of the day is so confusing, so terrifying in my memory. The towers collapsing. I could hear screaming from the other rooms. I went out at one point and people were collapsed in the halls, sobbing. My other friends and I (none of us Americans) sat together, holding hands and staring at each other in terror. I remember praying with my friend. Watching helplessly as our NYC friends sobbed into phones, contacting their families. All of us wishing desperately that we were home. We never felt that alone again. So terrified.

I don't like remembering this. Hell, who does? But we have to. We have to remember. And we need to share our stories. It's 8 years later, but I still remember the panic, the sadness, the complete and utter horror of it.

We'll never forget. I can't believe how much it still hurts to remember. Christ, all those people.

I'll stop now. The keyboard's getting too blurry.

Thursday of Reckoning...

A quick update on yesterday's post, mostly for my own reference:

1) We lost. On a really cheap penalty kick. Because Mexico sucks so bad that they couldn't beat us properly even when we were playing horribly, so they had to go and fake their way to a victory. Then kept falling over ridiculously to make the time pass by. God I hate that team so very, very much. We're still in the running, and just need to beat the US (hard) and El Salvador (easy) to get into the World Cup. We just need to get in third place. Please. PLEASE.

2) I love Glee. So very, very much. It makes me happy. The scene with "Gold digger" and the teacher rapping just completely slayed me. God I love when something is just completely happy with itself. It's so contagious. It really just made me completely joyful.

3) Oh, Tyra. This is going to be an amazing season.

4) That cake was glorious.

5) no package. But here's an update: I love my fiance. Take that cheese and run with it.

One more day to Beach Day. Huzzah!

Other good thing:

I am 69 books into the Cannonball. I loved Neverwhere. Very, very much.

I think I'm finally getting the hang of Wednesdays.

No Whining Wednesday!

A list of things to look forward to today:

1) Mexico-Honduras game. This is for World Cup Qualifiers, people. This means it's a big deal. We're three games away from going to our first World Cup in 27 years. IT IS A BIG DEAL. Unfortunately, we're playing on Mexican turf and they're kinda pissed over us beating the pulp out of them last time. And our team has a tendency to fizz away into nothing at the last minute. But I can't help it. I'm still hopeful. And very, very excited.

No, really, it's a big deal. We have a history with Mexico. THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DID.

2) Glee premiere! I have no shame in admitting I love the hell out of musicals. And television. And sweet, hilarious shows. So this is the trifecta of awesomeness as far as I'm concerned. My only fear is that it'll air at the same time as the football match and then I'll go insane with the channel flipping.

3) ANTM premiere. That is all. No, really, shut up.

4) CAKE. I made an awesome pineapple upside-down cake last night. Unfortunately my mom is allergic to pineapple so I didn't leave much of it at home; instead sent most of it to be sold at her office. But I kept a big chunk and it shall make a grand dessert. There's also some corner brownies left. And anyone with any taste whatsoever knows that corner brownies are the best.

5) Maybe my package from the US Embassy will come today? This is just pure wishful thinking, but...it could happen. And in any case I'll be calling the Embassy later today to see if they HAVE the package from the State Department yet.

Things to look forward this week:

Going to the beach on Saturday. HEY-O.

I do love No Whining Wednesdays. Just writing all this cheered me up.

And then there was one...

So my little brother's gone off to study in France. Yeah, that France. The one I've never been to. No I'm not writhing with jealousy. Not at all.

But, anyway, what this means is that I'm the only one left at home with my mom. Where this house has always played a sort of hotel for people and has rarely if ever been empty, it's now almost completely devoid of life. My older brother's studying in Tampa, my sister's in Iowa, my second brother's in Taiwan and now this one's gone off to Paris. And soon (Good God I hope so) I'll be gone to Texas. And while a part of me is all sad, and another part of me is all annoyed because I was supposed be gone by now (waah! waah!) and yet another part of me is hoping the big empty house doesn't scare me too much (it will though) the biggest part of me (there's a lot of parts, see) is slowly trying to come to terms with the basic concept:

I AM AN ONLY CHILD. Like, suddenly, after 25 years of sharing a house and food and toys and bathrooms and EVERYTHING with 4 siblings and two parents and now it's just ME. And I get to do WHATEVER I WANT. I get to buy snacks and not have to hide them. I get to take hour long showers because I can use all the water that 5 people aren't using. I get the internet all to myself. I get to go out to eat and my mom won't have to worry about going bankrupt trying to feed 5 hungry people. I GET TO STEAL MY BROTHERS' AWESOME DESK AND COMPUTER CHAIR. THE COMPUTER CHAIR, PEOPLE!

I CAN'T HANDLE ALL THE AWESOME. OMG THE CAPITAL LETTERS.

Oh, the freedom! Oh, the humanity!

No, really. Every couple of seconds I think of yet another awesome thing I get to have all for myself for these precious months I have left here.

I'm sure the novelty will wear off eventually and I'll start missing them all, but for now I'm going to enjoy the fabulousness.

I GET TO KEEP MY CHOCOLATE OUTSIDE AND NOT IN THE CLOSET.