Tuesday, June 23, 2009

A largely pointless but revealing list of nothingness

If someone chronicled my morning so far you'd be able to get a pretty good picture of what it's like to be Fig. It was full of little quirks, manias and weirdnesses that would probably drive any other person insane, and the more I think about it the more I'm sure that I wouldn't survive the apocalypse.

A trip down Figgy Lane:

1) I needed to wake up at 5:30am today to go get some bloodwork done. Any normal person would've gone to bed early the night before. I didn't. Well, I did try. But I have this...this, thing where, if one night I go to bed at a certain time, the next night I will be unable to go to sleep until that time. No matter how tired I am, if I went to bed at 2am the night before there is no way I'm going to sleep before 2am the next day.
2) Even after reading and finishing a book, my eyes tired and my body exhausted, it took me a good half hour to go to sleep.
3) I still got up at 5:30, 10 seconds before the alarm sounded, with just 3 hours of sleep in me.
4) I took a shower at 5:35 because I can't stand going outside without taking a shower. Had horrible flashbacks upon remembering that I used to do this EVERY day back when I was working at the school, and was amazed that I survived it.
5) It took all my willpower to not drink my daily cup of coffee before going out, because you have to get blood drawn before you eat anything. And I just can't function without that first cup of coffee. It's usually the only one I have in the day (so stop it with the caffeine addiction jokes), but it helps me wake up. I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
6) Got to my godmother's house. She's Chinese, a microbiologist and has been one of my mom's best friends since high school. She always does our bloodwork, as she works in a lab and can get us a big discount. Anyway, she has this huge house that's always full of relatives and people cooking. One of her brother lives there, and he has six dogs. He sells puppies. He has a german shepherd, a pug (ha so cute), a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, a beagle, a basset hound and a gorgeous boxer. They all greeted us with deafening noise the second we rang the bell. They were adorable and all ran straight at me, wanting me to pet them. For some reason, I've always been a magnet for dogs. And very little kids. Maybe I smell like cookies?
7) I hate doctors. I hate hospitals. I hate anything to do with medicine. Ironic (or perhaps just logical) because my mom is a doctor. She and my godmother spend hours trading disgusting medical stories. So you can see why I'd be freaked at my mom and my godmother being together, surrounded by needles and other scary medical
8) HATE NEEDLES. No, not hate. I am fucking terrified of needles. This is how bad it is: last time I took my dog to the vet the doctor put some drops in her eyes and I almost FAINTED. My vision went all red and I lost my breath and had to sit down.
9) My grandmother went first. I couldn't watch. Had to go into the other room. Then my godmother called me up and I went up to the table, keeping my eyes firmly away from the scary medical equipment, knowing that if I even glanced at it I'd freak the hell out.
10) as she was getting everything ready I went cold, and had to look at the dogs outside, and had to take deep breaths. I KNOW it's not going to hurt, and I KNOW it'll be over quickly but oh god I can't stand it. It was over quick and thank God. Didn't look at the blood at all. Hell no.
11) Came back home. I was going to eat, but was too sleepy. A miracle, really, because my stomach is DEMANDING breakfast minutes after I wake up, but this time I needed sleep more.
12) I changed and went back to bed. Took me another full hour to get to sleep. I am a horrible sleeper, just picky as hell. If anything, even the slightest noise distracts me, it completely takes me out of the zone. I have to twist and turn and get comfortable and it all has to be completely quiet and dark and it's horrible. I was frankly amazed that I got to sleep at all, what with the birds outside and the LIGHT and oh god I've never been able to take a nap in my life.
13) Woke up two hours later. I really feel like I have to take a shower, even though I did this morning, but my brain's insisting that it didn't count and I need to tell it to shut up.
14) all through this I felt very thankful and guilty that I actually could go back home to sleep. The guilt kept me awake. I wish I could just be a complete lazy bum without the guilt and the vague nagging feeling that I really should be doing something to take advantage of the beautiful day but I can't. Morals suck.
15) I wrote this gigantic entry for no reason at all other than I really like to analyze everything AND talk about myself.

So, there. I'm now trying to work up the energy to go down to the store and get some butter so I can make some cookies to sell tomorrow. The guilt and the laziness are raging a battle within me.

Oh, the bloodwork was just a checkup to see if any of my numbers have changed from way back when I had work done in January. My doctor told me I needed to lower some thingies, particularly because of my lame family history, so I've been cutting back on some things and eating more of others and hopefully it worked. I'm very healthy, but what with the bad genes I need to make sure I stay that way. I probably shouldn't eat all that pie.

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