The last Tuesday episode of Lost airs tonight, and I'm freaking out just a little bit.
See, I don't think you can understand this unless you've been watching the show since day 1, and haven't missed a single episode on the very night it aired. You don't understand the immense, frustrating journey that this damn show has put us through for the last six years. It's been a hell of not knowing anything, long and horrible hiatuses, scheduling shennanigans and over all a desperate feeling that the writers don't know what the hell they're doing.
And now it's ending and it's a big fucking deal to some of us. I've never been a Lost apologist or anything close to it; anyone that knows me knows that I've screamed "I HATE THIS STUPID SHOW" at my television more times than I can count. I know it has major flaws and that some episodes were utter piles of crap. I know that the dialogue was sometimes clunky and that I don't think I've ever hated a fictional character as much as I hate Kate Austen.
But still, I kept coming back. Because it was just that goddamn addictive. I think it required an awful lot of willpower to have stepped away from this show when it was at its worst (say, that one episode where we found out how Jack got his tattoos...the one with BAI LING in it) and I know people who did that. I couldn't have. Because...well, I have no power when it comes to television, and a show as good as Lost could be sometimes just keeps pulling you back in and won't let you go. Plus, there were a lot of really hot men to look at.
Oh those bastards know what they were doing, alright.
So, tonight is the last weekday episode, and the whopping 2.5-hour finale airs Sunday, and I'm gearing myself up for some serious disappointment. And I have a pretty simple reason for it: I don't trust the writers. Sure, they can be downright brilliant sometimes, but they won't fool me into believing that they had every move calculated before they put it in the show. From experience, I know they're just not that good. If they were, every single episode would feel as compelling and important. Even if something at the end would make most of it make sense it's still just not very smart to leave episodes dangling. What I mean is that for a show to be truly brilliant, for a mystery to be seriously great, you need for every single part to be as important and everything fit.
Now I know it's completely unrealistic to ask that every single question be answered. I know that and I'm not expecting it. I just want to feel like the ending fits. Like it was worth it. I'm prepared to not like the ending, as long as it's not a cop-out. If that makes any sense at all. I just know that we'll be talking about this for months on end. I just hope it's not like The Sopranos or Battlestar Galactica, where most people were left disgusted with everyone involved in the show.
So, just make it good. Make it compelling and make it fun to watch. That's all I want at this point. I don't want every question answered, but I want it to make sense. I want the writers to respect the viewers and not cop-out. I want them to pull out all the stops and leave us completely stunned.
I also want Kate to die, but that's pretty horrible and I know it won't happen but still. I hate that chick.
I'm sad it's ending, but I'm glad the pain will go away. I've never loved or hated a tv show so much in my life, and I suspect I never will again. And for that alone, this show was a complete success to myself and to a lot of people.
Well. There wasn't much point to this post other than I can't stop thinking about tonight's show and I'm going crazy. This is what not having a job does to me: it makes me freak out about things that I know have little importance in the large scheme of things. But that's the fun part, isn't it?