This is what I wore last night:
Badgley Mischka. Why, yes, it was the first outfit I picked out.
Anyway, the Oscars were a little strange. I liked that the show was a lot more lively, and they made some nice choices (Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway's intro was fantastic, the Slumdog/Wall-E musical number was great, the pace was good) but some serious, serious missteps in their efforts to be all hip and cool and get more viewers to watch. People have been saying for years and years that the three worst things about the Oscars is that they're too self-congratulatory, there are too many stupid montages and they're full of bad musical numbers.
And that's exactly what they had more of. *facepalm*
The 'tribute to musicals' number was ridiculous and painful, what with the Disney tween stars fucking around for absolutely no reason at all. The musical is back this year? Bitches, the musical was back with Moulin Rouge. Don't play that game.
The speeches to each of the nominees were nice at first, but went on way too long, seemed pointless, and I missed the clips for each of the nominees that they usually do. That was one tradition I loved, and they took it away. These people really don't know how to do these things.
But overall, I was pretty happy with the awards. They were a bit predictable, but I was happy at all the love that was thrown at Slumdog Millionaire, which was a seriously perfect movie that I'm watching again today. I loved it so much, guys, and it deserved every award it got, and more.
And God, I love Kate Winslet. It was about damned time she got an Oscar, and she looked gorgeous and charming when she won. So very happy about that, too.
Oh and we can't forget the pretty, pretty dresses.
My top five Best Dressed:
1) Taraji P. Henson:
Oooh, but this was a gorgeous dress. The way it fit her, the color, the way it moved, everything. This woman has one genius of a stylist.
2) Kate Winslet:
Love the color, love the styling, love the hair. She has this whole Grace Kelly thing going on that is perfect on her, and she looked stunning. How can you not love this woman?
3) Evan Rachel Wood:
I don't even know her that much, but damn, she looks like what a movie star should look like. Her whole look is glamorous and beautiful. I'm glad she moved out of her bizarre Marilyn Manson stage.
4) Sean Penn:
Love him or hate him, Penn looked just spiffy last night. The all-black thing is great on him, and he looked well-put together and handsome. Oh, and it took me way too long to recognize Robin Wright Penn. She looks...strange.
5) Josh Brolin and Diane Lane:
To hell with Brad and Angelina. This was hands down the best-looking couple out there last night, no competition. And Diane Lane will never stop being gorgeous.
1) Natalie Portman in a gorgeous pink number
2) Marion Cotillard in that crazy dress of hers
Bottom Five (Worst Dressed):
1) Miley Cyrus in a hideous bedazzled-scallop outfit she could barely walk in:
It was way too much for anyone, let alone a 16 year old Disney bimbo with no talent who has no business being anywhere near the Oscars.
2) Vanessa Hudgens in one big mess of a dress:
Another pretty young girl who wore something that was way too old for her. Not to mention the fact that there's just too much to that dress, and it looks choppy and confusing.
3) Beyonce wearing shiny upholstery that was way too tight for her:
Woman, you have a gorgeous body. Why do you want to look like a sausage? A mermaid sausage? Does she ever wear anything other than mermaid dresses? Big blah to this one. Every time they focused on her during the Red Carpet coverage she looked like she could hardly breathe, and her moves were that robotic sort that every girl who has ever worn a dress that was too tight knows about. Bad, bad choice.
4) WHY is Sarah Jessica Parker considered a style icon? Everything she wears is hideous:
Eugh. Ugly, messy and far too princessy for any grown woman. And I kept expecting her boobs to pop out of that thing. They looked like they were in pain. The worst part is that people are probably going to be cooing over how great she looked.
5) Heidi Klum in this big 'ol cheap mess of a thing:
Heidi Klum can wear anything. ANYTHING. So why does she choose to wear a weirdly-cut napkin pinned in all the wrong places? The hair and makeup were hideous as well, and so were the excessive amounts of jewelry.
I was going to have Marissa Tomei somewhere on this list, but the more I look at her bizarre, art-deco dress the more I love it. Plus, I love Marissa Tomei and don't want to be mean to her.
1) Anne Hathaway. Blah blah blaaaaaaaah. Boring.
2) Reese Witherspoon. What the fuck kind of a mess was she wearing? Didn't rank higher because she didn't show up much.
3) Frieda Pinto. She looked like she had lost a sleeve. Which was really too bad, as she's a gorgeous girl who's been one of the best dressed this awards season. But...misstep.
For always being so weirdly awesome that I don't know whether to put her in best or worst outfits of the night, because she has her own category of awesomeness...
Woo! Planet Swinton must be one hell of a fun place.
Thus endeth my moment as fashion guru.
It was overall a fun night, with much sillyness and overdone Hollywood spectacle, which is why I love the Oscars so much in the first place.
A thousand congratulations to Slumdog Millionaire and my directorial crush Danny Boyle. May you all continue to make perfect little movies like this one.
Figgy out. *
*Glargh. I can't believe I did that. And by the way, how awesome was Brad Pitt barely acknowledging Ryan Seacrest during the Red Carpet? I don't like Pitt but damn, anyone who disses that little shrimp as he so rightly deserves gets props in my book.
PS: Speaking of Brangelina, someone should really check that all the Slumdog Millionaire kids made it safely back to their parents. I thought I caught a glint in her eye that just said "Oooh! I could add a little Indian to my collection!"