Monday, August 24, 2009


Well, I'm back.

I'm both miserable and excited to be back home. Miserable because of the obvious, but excited for a lot of reasons. Like this might really be IT, this might be the last time I'm home for good before I move to my new home. The rest of my life, if you will. I don't want to jinx anything by even mentioning wedding dates or anything (and god knows we need all the help we can to get the visa people to not hate us anymore) but we might just have a tentative date and other plans. A lot is hanging on the balance for the wedding, but we might just be getting there before the year is out.

I'm also looking forward to having my own room again, and just enjoying these last few months of being by myself. Of course, it sucks to not have Graham here with me, but if I don't look at some positive side of this I'll just go completely out of my mind, so. I'm going to do a lot of crazy baking, and I'm going to get my financial stuff together, and try not to be too anxious about everything. Or miserable about not being where I want to be.

The first few days apart are really the hardest. It's the sudden realization that that other person is no longer THERE, that I'll no longer see him when he returns home from work, that he won't be the first thing I see in the morning. And I won't lie, it fucking SUCKS. I won't get into cheesy detail but it's miserable and horrible and I really really want to have to stop feeling that way. And just...god I'm just hoping this is the last time I'll have to do that. So there's that.

And I know it won't hurt so bad after a while. And the more days pass the closer I get to being there again. So, just a matter of getting through every day. And finding enough to do to get me through them.

Anyway. It was a fantastic trip. It was so good to be able to be over there again, and get away from the madness of this country (yay escapism) and just get to know my future home a little better.

And screw anyone who says anything to the contrary: Texas is awesome. There's so much more energy and well, just (excuse the stupid word but it's the only thing I can think of right now) FLAVOR than there was in the Northeast where I lived before. Of course I haven't gotten to really know it, but on first impression I can tell I'll like living there.

Also, Six Flags kicks all kinds of ass. And I found the perfect wedding dress. I can't freakin' wait.

And that's it for now. I have a lot of reviews coming up, and gotta do a lot of baking, and a lot of extra reading. There you go. That's my update.


Spender said...

Ah, figgy... I'm all kinds of excited for you. You're about to embark on a wonderful adventure (cliche', I know, but true) and I wish you all the happiness the world can offer.
The being apart is hell but the time will pass more quickly than you think
and you really should enjoy the remaining time you have.
I'm glad that you like Texas! I was born there and miss it very much... the more you learn and see of it, the more you'll come to love it,I promise.

amanda said...

I, too, was born in Texas, and I appreciate the shout-out to my homeland.