The Sunday Hot Post: X-Men Edition

There's been a lot of Wolverine: X-Men Origins talk lately. The marketing has been insane, and it starts the big Summer Movie Season.

Ever since it premiered on Friday, however, most of the talk has revolved over how much the movie sucks.

Of course it sucks. Did anyone, from the moment the idea of a spin-off after the weakest of the X-Men movie was floated around, think that it would not suck? Come on. You knew, and I knew, and everyone knew that it was going to be a brainless, fun blockbuster with lots of explosions and good-looking people.

And I want to see this. It makes no sense. It's doubtless a horrible movie, and giving it money will only encourage Hollywood to keep making atrocities and ruining our childhood memories. I shouldn't watch it. You shouldn't watch it. No one should watch it.

I'll still watch it. And if none of my excuses are valid (mindless fun, good time, crap blowing up everywhere ), then I'll just point out the most basic reason why I want to watch this.

The beefcake. Pure and simple. Sometimes one just wants to see some hot men taking off their shirts, getting sweaty and bloody amidst an orgy of CGI explosions and superpowers.

And I refuse to feel guilty about it. So, here they are. The X-Men. If you're wondering why it made so much money, this could be an explanation.


1. Hugh Jackman (Wolverine)

Here's the thing about me and Hugh Jackman. I suffer from what I call the Viggo/Aragorn Syndrome. The idea is this: When he is clean and neatly shaven, I don't find the actor attractive. At all. I am completely indifferent. There is something there, but no sparks.

And then they show up in a movie all sweaty and hairy and ACTION HERO and it's BAM. There goes my indifference. He's a completely new man. And oh boy, he is hot. Examples of this are Viggo Mortensen (nothing. But as Aragorn? YOW.) and this man. Hugh Jackman.

Eeeh. He's...alright I guess.

Oh. Oh my. Yes. Yes, please.

Yow. Oh...my.

*blink*

Sorry I was gone for a while. OK moving on.

2. Liev Schrieber (Sabertooth)

Though not really known for his hotness (outside the fighouse, of course), this guy is a ridiculously good looking specimen. And a fantastic actor to boot. He's serious, intense, and he's made some pretty good movies. And oh man, he's hot.

Alright. It's a hot-off.

I make vests look hot.

He's shirtless. And feeding a baby. It's ridiculous. You're welcome.

3. Taylor Kitsch (Gambit)

I don't really know that much about him. Other than he's shirtless a lot. Hmm...maybe I don't really need to know anything else.

Dang. He sure is purdy. That smile makes rainbows happen.

All-American Hot Dude.

mmm. brooding.

4. Ryan Reynolds (Deadpool)

I'll say this right at the start: I'm not a big RR fan. He strikes me as something of a douchy frat boy. And I'm not really into frat-boy types.

But damn if the guy isn't built like a greek deity. And he makes it almost impossible not to like him. I hate him a little for not letting me hate him completely. Damn him and his shirtlessness.

I can't believe I watched this movie. But can you blame me?

Ngh.

Dammit. Stop looking at me like that. DAMMIT. Stop being so cute. ARGH.

5. Dominic Monaghan

I remember when I first heard of this guy. It was way back before Fellowship of the Ring came out, and every woman around was going insane over the cast. I guiltily admit that I fixated on Dominic Monaghan more than was strictly necessary. But really, he was Merry, my favorite character, and he was just freakin' adorable. And then he went on Lost and I hated him a little but he's still adorable. I hear he doesn't do much in X-Men, but any excuse is good when doing these things.

Confession: I kind of have a thing for big ears. A big thing.

Lost=beach=shirtless=YES

*****

Ta-daa!

I rest my case.

And as a parting blow, here's a completely gratuitious photo of Hugh Jackman. Shirtless. In a towel. Sweaty. With a golf club.



You are welcome.

I hope this drove away some of the end-of-the-week blues.

Have a great week!