Sunday, November 16, 2008

The Freebies List

Ooooooof. I am halfway through my Novel. I have 25,000 words and 51 one pages of story. I am almost completely proud of it. It'll need editing but I feel very happy with it so far.

But my brain is mush. I'm trying to finish my third Cannonball Book, and also trying to start up a cookie-selling scheme so I can make some money for Christmas presents. I am so poor, you guys.

Anyway, I think for days of brain mush one needs a bit of a breather. And my breathers usually come in the form of ogling pictures. Sometimes it's pictures of pretty places. Sometimes it's pictures of cute animals. Today is a day for the third type: pictures of hot men. There is a just a point at which your brain is so overwhelmed that all you want to do is be completely shallow. You know?

So today I give you my Freebies List. With photos. And annotations.

(For those of you who don't know, a 'Freebies List' consists of the 5 celebrities you'd most like to do whoopie with. No consequences or regrets. Just pure enjoyment. I spent waaay too much time thinking about my list back when it was a Pajiba comment diversion, and here it is in full. Enough with the parenthetical aside...)

Because I can.

Figgy's Five Freebies

(somewhat in order)

1. Eric Bana

Have you SEEN him in Troy? Yowzah. He really needs to get better roles., because I am convinced he is a good actor and the world needs to take more notice of him pronto. Mostly so I can look at him some more. I'll even watch STAR TREK for him, even if he's under 20 pounds of makeup.

2. Christian Bale

Well, come on. Do I even need to say anything about this one?

3. Gerard Butler

I had briefly considered taking him off the list after I heard he was doing a movie with Kate Hudson. Also, he's not exactly a brilliant actor. But then I saw 300 again and I was helpless to keep him here. Those eyes. The muscles. The accent. Etc.

4. Reynaldo Gianecchini

Chances are you don't this one. He's a brazilian soap opera actor that I happened to catch on tv by accident. Now I'm addicted to the damned show. He is possibly the most perfectly built man I have ever laid eyes on. He's perfect. Almost annoyingly so. Almost too pretty, but there's something about him.

5. Sean Bean

Oh, Sean Bean. Another Troy alumn, which just goes to show that while a movie might be completely horrible, if you have enough beefcake in it some people will watch it over and over and over again. Just to see Sean Bean with curly hair and a skirt. This man is gorgeous and brilliant in everything he does.

(And here is where Figgy passes out from so much hotness)

Honorable mentions:

1. Russell Crowe, but only during his Gladiator/Master and Commander/ Beautiful Mind phases. After that he really let himself go. Too bad.
2. Daniel Craig, who wears a tuxedo like nobody else can. I'd break my no-blonds rule for him.
3. John Krasinski, because he's just adorable.
4. Jeffrey Dean Morgan. I can't explain it.
5. Raoul Bova. Look him up.


So that's it.

I think I'll be coming back to this entry quite often. I know I will.

I promise to get back to regularly scheduled seriousness and deep thoughts and--HA who am I kidding. This is the most shallow journal of all time.



Julie said...

Eric Bana is so beautiful that my heart aches with the knowledge that I'll never do him.

Marra Alane said...

Well, you definitely have a type.

I have no doubt hat Gerard Butler would tear that ass up, but Bale and Bana just seem nice, and sort of boring, which isn't what you want for a one night stand. Like, every time I see a Matthew Mcconaughey film, I die inside, but he could probably fuck me into a coma.

And the Troy thing? I reckon I watch that movie like, once a month. At least. Say what you will about the acting/writing/plot, put a bunch of hot guys on a beach with swords and I will watch over and over and over.

Figgylicious said...

Julie, I KNOW. Every time I watch ANY of his movies I spend half the time groaning at the screen.


Figgylicious said...

Marra, you know what's dumb? that I only realized I had such a specific type until I made this list. I'm a spazz.

Troy is such a horrible, horrible movie, yet I keep coming back to it. I usually turn it off when Eric Bana dies, because not even Sean Bean can fill that void...

Telesilla said...

Nice list! And yeah Troy is indeed a crap fest, but oh my is it a pretty one.


natália said...

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Reynaldo Gianecchini on your list!

Which soap opera made you fall in love with him?

Figgylicious said...

It was "Belissima".

I remember flipping channels randomly one day, and then seeing him in that mechanic's uniform open to THERE and I completely stopped short and went "Holy God WHO is that?!" and I was hooked.

I swear I could hear the sound of screeching wheels in my brain.